i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
