Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
