No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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