Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just pee around me
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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