I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
