In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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