IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
