he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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