you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you will always have a special place in my vag
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
