Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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