Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
