i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize