Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
True strength comes from lack of pants
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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