OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
