How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
