i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
