I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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