do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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