The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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