why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
