This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize