Sponge bath it is.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize