dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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