I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
