dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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