Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
