my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
