please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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