I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
