Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
