We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize