did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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