god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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