he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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