Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
