i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
