Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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