I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
