i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
