i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
