Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize