the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
