Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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