He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
