so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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