im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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