Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's Friday. Sex?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
