I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
