well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
