My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
