Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
