I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
