some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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