I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think i scared a bird with my dick
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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